Great example of how a story might not make sense to some, but might be shockingly realistic to others.

I’ve been to this place. But we called it the Gravel Pits. I would secretly meet my best friend’s brother for sex. I was 16, he was 22. And it was during one entire Summer.

I am this character. This story reminded me of how hyper aware I was, feeling my pores soaking up the sun, my skin electrified anticipating the experience, the fire, the sweat. Out of all that, it was the waiting, Not once did he show up first.

Later in life, I felt sorry for him, he didn’t get to experience what I did, sitting still, enjoying the sun, and getting totally high on anticipation waiting for a lover,

(“Your here” to “You’re here”. I also feel “turn around road” should be capitalized, or “the” change to “a”. Don’t know why, just looks funny. Maybe it’s me.)

Who can follow that comment?

The anticipation is clear here, the waiting for danger and the hyper-awareness as 32 said. Nicely done.

Should comments be marked ‘mature’?

I don’t know what I can say, that won’t be misconstrued at this point, but when re-reading the story, after reading 32’s comment, I have a sneaky suspicion that we might need a ‘mature’ label on this here story. Jus sayin’.

Definitely got that sense of realness and unreality to it, like perhaps allegorical, madness, or just something slightly outside our grasp. A few grammar slips, like the comma splice in the line about the wind, sun, and clouds. Overall it has an effective tone and sense to it.