As was mentioned previously, your skills as a writer are very evident. Although I share your infatuation with proper semicolon and colon placement, I don’t understand your use of the ampersand in lieu of the word ‘and’. And the ‘2’ instead of writing ‘two’. Perhaps the character limitation would be better overcome by eliminating unneeded words or finding more concise ways to use them? Still, I fought through it at enjoyed your rendition regardless.

how did she stop trying to ‘eat’ or ‘infect’ him?

Your questions will be answered in time, Miss Hawk. In time…

Intriguing bit of story. I haven’t read the rest, but this certainly maintains a very haunting air about it.