Sounds like a pretty funny situation/story. Or at least it has the potential to be funny if not taken the wrong way. I wasn’t sure which was happening at this particular moment. The switching of what is hot and what is cold provided a nice closure for the piece though it sounds like there could be more to the story. I wondered if the line “I got a lot of things wrong” was thought during the breakfast or if it was a reflection on the breakfast.

At first I thought his roommate(?) is giving him a cold stare because she has the hots for him.
But then I realized she was intrigued by the girl showing interest, so she took on a different role.

Nice. I appreciate your using the ‘coffee cooling’ as a vehicle to show the passing of time. Sometimes dialog reads faster then it actually occurs. I’m not sure if our protag is referencing a “mantyhose” party, funny that wasn’t the issue for our ‘brewista’, T.W.‘s podiatric comment was. Overall an excellent vignette of ’love and marriage’.

(edited)

T.
I was bouncing around between first, second and third. The lines with coffee and spark seem to be asides. But most of this is written in first person, so he wouldn’t know what she’s feeling/thinking, unless he’s a mind reader, which of course he could be.

After all that, part of this is a great study on setting up a mis en scene. I almost read this as a director mentally prepping two actors for a specific scene.

Director: " Okay you two. The coffee is gradually cooling. You, you’re simmering quietly. So sip tentatively. You, you just hide behind the cereal box. Eat your Captain Crunch and look like you’re trying not think. I want it to look painful and ridiculously slow. Remember, she can’t see you, when she’s talking to you, she’s addressing the box, that’s how far down I want you. I want to see your eyes focused on the maze and hidden picture games on the back of the box, a little frustrated in your face; you’ve just failed the grade 4 level word scramble.

Action!