I like the sentiment and the imagery here. Very romantic and takes me back to my own wedding. The second parenthetical takes me out of the moment, though, and diminishes the universality of the piece. I think it flows better if you skip over it. Also, visages is misspelled, but other than that, great job!

The regret, no, remorse felt here is both sad and yet haunting as if the person is at a crossroads. He can choose to let his old flame for her die or to pursue it and dance with the devil, so to speak.

I agree with BA, however, I liked the second parenthetical. For me, it showed a personal connection between the two dancers. Something they could both smile about. An inside joke, perhaps. Although ‘visages’ seem out of place with the commonality of the piece, (a simple world like , ‘faces’ seems more fitting) all in all it’s wonderfully written.