I like it a lot. You set it up really nicely to make the last line come in smoothly and convey a very real phenomenon, that you can’t go back. Most of us would think, “Ooh, cool, I could be a pilot,” but I suppose after space it wouldn’t be that exciting. It’s like going back to a ten-speed after owning a Harley.

Title = bonus point. Theme = bonus point. First/Last = bonus point. Using personal names such as ‘Darren’ and ‘Melody’ gives the story a homey feel. Still, the ending seems rushed. Maybe you tried to hard to land the pilot?

I don’t think the end is rushed at all. Reminds me of the astronaut whom I heard speak at the Children’s Museum. He was a scientist, an expert, a public speaker, and inspiration.

Lovely, although space is black infinity, so I’d kill the simile in the first line. I like the longing for an artistic hand and the comparison with a photo; some things can never be fully captured by a mechanical process.