Shiggedy-shiggedy schwa, Super Mario Brothers,
A plumber, traversing worlds to find his lover.
Why bother? She’ll just get kidnapped on another occasion,
No deviation for this man of the Italian persuasion.
Amazin’ how he just keeps on crazin’
after this girl he hardly knows, this girl who always goes,
This girl who clearly shows she got a thing for Turtles.
And he’s just a stumpy bro, I guess every ‘ship has its own hurdles.
And this plumber’s fertile, an insatiable thirst.
He has at least two other girls and Peach ain’t even the first.
Whatever happened to Pauline? She just kinda vanished.
Did he just ditch her in the end? Did her presence embarrass him,
She too, like Toadstool, liked some beast in her man.
And Daisy got taken by aliens in Super Mario Land,
These girls are into things no man’d quite understand,
It’s all consensual really, Mario’s chicks’ve got plans.

Here is a chorus
Implying Mario’s girls are into animals
Here is a chorus
Raising questions about Rosalina’s relationship with the Lumas