So I kind of cheated here.

There are worse-off pieces than the original version of this I could have redone. I was never really happy with Timpani though, it felt awkward and immature and kind of clunky. Some of the comments on the original address the awkward phrasing of some things that I tweaked in here.

I really just wanted to redo this story, and this challenge provided me with the proper forum to do so!

Wow. That’s an awesome climax. You still don’t know if the person is hallucinating at the very end with the spinning doorhandle or not, but I like it.

Sometimes I have violent nightmares, some of those times I’m the accidental bad guy. In a few of those dreams I accidentally killed someone. The way your story flows is almost how I feel those first 15 seconds as I travel from sleep to reality, I still feel “in trouble”,

If you’re going to use “sound” then you open up a can of worms by needing to define the gun, which you could do, such as sound of the pistol, sound of the rifle, sound of the shotgun, which all have distinctive sounds. It might be better to leave the idea of sound out.

Try: The gunshot is resonating in my head; loud and constant.

It still works, Good example of less is more and opens the sentence up at, to me, adds a little more suspense.

*and

Violent. Hallucinogenic. Definitely one that I’ll remember.

Just goes to show, you should never trust those timpani players. I mean the music’s cool, but there’s something devious about how they beat those drums. Now we know.

It’s crazy, raw, and interesting. A story to remember.

Very trippy and has some echoes of the Telltale Heart. Intriguing in its oddity.