Very epic in scale, which works nicely after the start in the very personal musings on age. I think the first comma in the sentence about the ship should be right before ‘Albatross’, if I’m reading it right. Also, two "now"s in the second sentence of second to last paragraph. Gripping, cool stuff.

Thanks THX 0477. I dreamed this and wrote it right as I woke up. I’ve never done that before. Usually I only spill out some framework as a draft, and forget about it.

Epic is right – and the descriptions of the planet: thick skin, scaly and split dry…blood…splinter like arthritic bone are disturbingly visceral. A dark, cinematic opening scene.