How interesting. I love the way you narrated the person’s thoughts. That last paragraph was very well written! :D The second line was a little confusing at first but then I understood after rereading it.
Would love to see this continued. :)

Interesting. Feels a bit like madness or allegory, especially with the middle paragraph. Raises lots of questions.

How very evocative and unsettling. Your use of tenses is a bit unsteady, but accidentally or not, that actually adds to the uneasy, jumpy tone of the piece.