…Conjuring up that grimy, downbeat Philip K Dick feel: I approve. You’ve posed sufficient questions to make me want to read more, which is what it’s all about, really.

A couple of stylistic things that I’d edit: the two sentences starting “Coiled up…” and ending “attracting attention” have a bit of repetition (her, her, girl, girl, girl, exhaustion, exhausted); jars a bit, needs a bit of a tidy up. Also, “dressed in a white and bink bodysuit”.

But hey, welcome to Ficly!

Thanks JonB for the suggestions have revised it to make it flow a little better hopefully.

Thank you as well for the welcome. a question, I assume it is not appropriate for me to sequel my own story immediately, i guess I can jump back in later on, haven’t found a ‘etiquete’ guide to that sort of thing.

Well, sequel-wise, it’s pretty much up to you. Some people seem to endlessly write consecutive sequels to their own stories, but I don’t do that myself (if I wanted to write a single, long story I’d do it in one go and publish it in a different sort of forum). Personal preference, really.

I agree, sometimes I might want more than 1024 before i ‘let go’ that’s all, though I like the constraint, focuses the mind.