Thanks, Writearound. As the comments rightly note, my original thing was purely impressionistic – so a sequel never occurred to me. However, you’ve taken the fragments and managed to spin a narrative out of it, so well done. The tone is, unsurprisingly, a bit different. But I think this works, with the original piece as a sort of prologue to this.

I like the continued balance of internal and mundane external all while having this feel of something larger and more mysterious going on. You’ve got a run-on or two in the form of a comma splice, but that kind of fits the style of the first one.