They say life begins at 40. I’m not sure if that’s true for you all, but for me my 40th year was the end of my life of surety and the beginning of an unstable but fascinating journey of self discovery that continues uninterrupted. I suspect now that the period before had become a sort of stagnancy or plateau at least, where I had stopped being fascinated with the mysteries of life. Now I am learning more and more about who I am.
I have not been able to present myself differently to everyone; I’d already established a personal facade and I am scared to demolish it to keep up with changes. Instead I ended up making new friends with whom I can be more open about my hidden qualities. Indeed, I am hesitant to reveal all these details here because I don’t know who might read this. But believe me, I’m not who I thought I was. I was so unsettled to realize these things and it led to major depression and anxiety, but I am treasuring my self understanding. I am feeling much more accepting of others now.
That is good!