It wasn’t because it hurt. I expected it to.

It was because when it didn’t,

when it felt good,
I wished it had been a way of saying “I love you.”

And it just wasn’t.

But I have to move forward,
I have to wait for the one now.
For me.

But at least now
there is no anxiety-filled mystery.
I am ready to fall for someone.

Not fall into
or onto,
just fall and smile and feel and
be happy with a friend
that just so happens to think I’m beautiful
and that wants to make love with me.

I just need to take a breather and wait.
They tell me I’m passive.
I tried to change that,
but I think sometimes it’s good.
And it’s time to just wait a while.