I’m the most modest guy you’ll ever meet .
I only make seven figures a year,
And live in a meager, three story suite,
Where Brad Pitt and I sometimes catch a beer.

My car’s alright – it’s a red Ferrari,
And my kind friend Kate Upton just called me.
I just got home from a sweet safari,
Because Paris seemed too fancy, you see.

I don’t know why people think I’m funny.
I mean, sure, no one can top my humor,
But if it’s so “great”, I’d make more money,
And would have kept my butler and groomer.

My I.Q’s quite high, but that’s just pretend.
So I’m quite modest, want to be my friend?