What an unfortunate job assignment. Imagining it kind of turned my stomach a little bit. I wonder why there’s a hidden camera? Despite feeling a little sick I want to know more!

Yup – it’s pretty horrible, and the mundane (in the non-fantastic sense) setting makes it all the more so. Strikingly visual, and then the mystery of the hidden camera… I think I shall probably have odd dreams about this tonight.

Rewritten, I see – which does help to clarify it a little. Still affective, on a subconscious, visceral (no pun intended) level – and the last line really elevates the whole piece.

Cute, and I like the overall idea. Nice job putting us in this character’s head space in some subtle ways. Personally, I totally get the camera thing, but I won’t expound and leave that for other readers to interpret on their own.