I could come up with some beautiful metaphors,
or I could just say it.

I miss my dad.
And I hope when he’s assigned his new life—
because let’s be real, my dad was not close to enlightenment, in fact
he’s probably reborn in an animal this time around—
that he does good things and learns more.

I need to learn to not search for words.
I need to learn to just speak and tell.
I’ve been “showing” far too much.

I just need to feel and…
not even tell,
just say.
There isn’t really anyone to tell.
They all know.
I just need to say things.
I don’t need advice or anything,
I just need to process because it’s almost been a year and
I’ve done very little processing.

I just want to be able to say, “I don’t want to take, but can you give?”
And just be held and cry.
Maybe I need to think,
instead of speaking at all.