I’m sure I’ve heard the Lucky Strikes thing before, but I can’t recall where.

That last sentence has a few too many commas to flow nicely, I feel, even giving it a little leeway for being speech.

Critique taken and sentence adjusted. Thanks, HSAR!

Love the characters. Didn’t know it was part of a challenge at first read. Irks me to see a kid smoking, however, you make up for it with this hint of controlled chaos living dangerously.

I liked this a lot. I got a Holden Cauffield (Catcher In the Rye) kind of vibe as I read it, like maybe this is the prequel to “Catcher In the Rye”. I know of course that it isn’t but I thought, this could be Holden 3 or 4 years before Sallinger’s story took place.

I love Martin. He reminds me of my housemate. I think you perfectly encapsulated a character in a few lines.

I wouldn’t say Holden Caufield is an accurate comparison. Holden is a whiny bitch. This kid – now – this kid is a genius, and he is going to take over the world.