Jeff here,

It was a compulsion that had already started long before I even recognised that it ‘wasn’t normal’. Most of the time I didn’t even realise I was doing it. It just started with small things like scratching or digging the tip of a pocket knife into an Animal’s skin when I was bored or felt at ease. For example, if there was If I never felt part of the social circle it would mentally take me away from the situation. It just made me feel less alone and distanced from others. Because I was young, it took me years to even realise what I was doing, but when I finally recognised and understood, it escalated quickly because I embraced it. From then onwards it’s just a blur. Murder became my reality and quickly felt like a normal reaction. Everyone’s experiences are different.