When the lights twinkle and excitement thickens the air.
Laughter, anticipation, joy, innocence.
Behind the children singing in their mother-made costumes.
You’re showing me what it’s like to be adult.
You teach me ‘love’. Painful, bitter, sordid love.

Telling stories of a son born of god.
I pray to this heavenly father but it seems I am abandoned.
Left in the dark corners of my mind.
Only me and the ghost left of you.

Now the lights don’t quite twinkle the same and the air is tainted.
I am a shell void of laughter, anticipation and joy.
You ripped my innocence from me during the celebration of a man who died for sin.
Perhaps my soul had been forgotten.

Perhaps I was never supposed to be saved.