I was dimly aware of her tail wrapping around me, but she didn’t constrict, so I didn’t struggle.

“Well,” she said, sounding sheepish. “I’ve always liked having people in my belly. I used to swallow my best friend a lot before she moved away, and… I’ve missed it. That feeling of having somebody within you…” She smiled warmly. “But now, I have you!”

“Me?” I said, a bit stupidly.

“Yup!” she said triumphantly. “I’ve decided to spare you…”

Okay, so that’s good…

“… but on a few conditions.”

Aw, crud.