(Comment edited.)

The opening is a bit wordy, but the rest is a great read, you found your stride.

We’re only four stories in (counting my sequel to this piece) and I’m becoming intrigued with how things are shaking out. It could just be a hell of a night at the Topaz at 8:00!

I’ve made the assumption that Maryanne Stone is the person that sent the note to Nick, so I’ve changed my original story to compensate for that. It was just the initial that the note was signed with anyway so no big deal. The odd thing is that something is nagging at me to change it back, that Maryanne Stone might not be that person. Are we writing the stories or are the stories writing us?

Awesome. I love the character, and it really nicely sets up the location for the meeting and a potential additional player. Cool, cool, cool.

I did not mean to change her name. I looked for a clue with a name in your original…missed it. We can use a name of your choosing. I was trying to put her onto my characters radar too.

Great – good characterisation and well structured writing. I really like my hair shone under each spotlight as I crossed the nightclub floor .

Killer last line. :D