“It’s not easy being a wicked witch, we get such a bad press, portrayed as green, warty and, well, wicked. It’s not all true though, we just want to be left alone to get on with casting evil spells and consorting with our familiars in peace. That’s why I came to live out here, in the woods, thought I’d be left alone. And so I was, for years, but then those pesky little kids turned up.

I know, I shouldn’t have locked them up and tried to eat them, but I was furious! How would you feel if you came home from a morning gathering toadstools to find two brats trying to eat your house? Fair enough, making it out of gingerbread wasn’t such a good idea, but that doesn’t mean any Tom, Dick or Hansel can come along and gobble up the front door. That Gretel was no better! Do you know what she called me? Warty-chops! Then she laughed at my hat! The cheek!

‘Course, it could be worse! My sister hasn’t been able to have breakfast for months, some swine stole her magic porridge pot. But that’s another story …"