Ah – I see a story emerging now, after the careful scene-setting. I shall read on.

I think a few unique touches could liven up this ficly a bit. For example, the Turkish rug and mahogany bookshelves seem a bit stereotypical. What if he searched the skies for Ares – his ex-wife’s star sign, and the only one that he bothered to learn – and had bookshelves bolted together from plywood and compressed board? Or anything, really, that uses exposition as an excuse to sneak in some details about his character.

I look forward to hearing what comes next!