drunk is such an ugly fucking word,
i don’t think it really accurately describes the state.
drunk is such a freeing thing;

it is not like high.
it doesn’t inhibit your brain like high does.

it lets you finally think and say what you need to.
it makes you lie down and cry
until your ears are drenched
and you can no longer hear
the sobs you are trying to stifle.

it makes you fall to the floor
you have always wanted to sink into
and it makes you unable to get back up.
so you crawl, and you crawl
and you’re back at the start
and maybe you will have a clean slate when you wake up,
but then again, maybe not.

maybe you will become a giant lizard
and leave an insurmountable path of destruction
and not just burn the bridges
but crush them to dust under your mammoth toes
and you will hurt everyone around you
no matter how much you care
no matter how much you don’t mean to
because all you are is a big dumb lizard
and you don’t understand feelings.