It’s an interesting start – the sense of almost suspended animation is well done, and Roxane’s character, what little we see of it, has potential.
I think it could do with a bit of streamlining: I think you’ve got a few too many adjectives in there (suddenly, slowly, slowly) and some other unnecessaries like through the cockpit window out into the vast emptiness of space – stuff we’re all guilty of, but does eat into your character allowance.
Also, line-breaks are good! (See the blog post on this very subject).
JonB