I like it. I salute your boldness in having thoughts/sentences spill from one line to the next. It works well, though I never quite muster the audacity to do it in my scant poetry attempts. Great attending too with the Shakespeare allusion.

Minor edits and one major one—changed Lear to Caliban and such to clarify a theme.

I approve. I like The Tempest better than King Lear. Tempest is so hopeful at the end. I think you have captured the spirit of that play.