i am lost…

@Drake: This story is happening the night Maryanne is supposed by Otellio to have stolen his money.

I too admit to losing the plot slightly after Mrs. Gillette – the WordPress reference set me straight. It’s a good way of getting her up to Otellio’s office, but I think the events in the second half could be slightly clearer.

Thanks for that. It’s an interesting challenge to add stage directions without adding length. As usual, brevity improves the story.

To make the time of this thread more clear, I retitled the first ficlet “Noir: Yesterday”

http://ficly.com/stories/37184

It took me a bit, as I was just assuming this would all fit into place with the other narrative. It works even better as the previous night.