Awesome. You’re walking the thing line with words like ‘Shrugged’ and ‘trailed’. I like it, take risk, live life on the monosyllable edge!

A lost Noir episode perhaps? You certainly are walking the ‘thing line’, but it works beautifully. Bit of dirty trick, though, to set about the guy while he’s taking his coat off!

Awesome narrative, so much so that by the end I forgot to be checking for or noticing if each word had only one syllable.