sounds like the protagonist is quite in love in the first paragraph, why would he/she desire to be like this April character?

It is a sensual piece of writing, but confusing. Is April a story book character? And of course why envy her when you have a lover in your bed?

April is the wife of her lover.

Thanks for the feedback. I can see how this might be confusing. I think I was more going with the fact that she was envious of April, seeing as how she knows this romance she has won’t last with the man she loves, for he would never leave his wife for her. She’s upset by the fact that someday he will be gone, and she will have no one, while April will.

oh!
wow, thanks for clarifying this. It makes so much more sense now!
It’s interesting to take the POV of the mistress, so many times the “lover” is portrayed as the adulterer and we never see how the mistress feels about him.

No problem!

And yeah, I wanted to try something a little different. I think it’s only fair to see how a mistress actually feels about the whole thing.

It is a pretty sick, lousy feeling, being the other guy and knowing I’ll never be more than the other guy.

Your story has plenty of power, when you know who the players are; it would have been really great if we could have gotten that out of the story instead of needing the clarification. Keep writing! Haha especially if you have a deep interest in Anais Nin’s work