Some nights I wish I was in some part of a nebula,
part of something dead.
Tonight is one of those nights.

I lie and say that I won’t get out tonight
because the winds are too strong
and the snow is too deep.

What a great excuse!
And I’ll thank the earth.
But what happens when she changes back to
sweltering temperatures and bicycle rides and picnics?

I used to love picnics.

Some nights I wish that magic was real.
And in some ways it is, like on TV and in movies.
And also in the eyes of the people that love us
and worry about us and tell us that it’s time to get out of bed.

But in other ways, it’s not.
What I want it for is an easy fix to my problems
and for it to happen in beautiful light and heat around my
face and my heart.
I want it to warm me up and make me feel
less jumbled.

That’s why we drink and smoke & sky dive and eat & try so hard to CONNECT.

Just want CONNECTION within my self.

Some nights I wish I could freeze myself
and regenerate some place far away with a new body
and a brand new mind.