‘Taking on water’ lends an unexpectedly nautical flavour, that I rather like. As for the rest of it – closely described, as before, with questions aplenty opening up. I’ve really no idea where this is going, but do keep it up.

rather enticing line of thought as I read the prequels and the sequels. I’m think I’m on board with where this is going and am intrigued to say the least.

Great ominous last line. Lovely portrait of a moment, a pause after so much movement with two people just appreciating each other.