HI! MILLY BAYS HERE, WITH A FANTASTIC NEW PRODUCT!
IT’S SLUDGE SODA TOOTHPASTE! SAME GREAT TOOTH ROTTINGNESS, NOW IN A PASTE THAT YOU SPREAD ON YOUR TEETH!
HERE IS A BEFORE AND AFTER DIAGRAM:
Before: Pearly white teeth
After: Rotten teeth.
Even later: No teeth.
STUDIES SHOW THAT USING SLUDGE SODA TOOTHPASTE WILL DECREASE THE LIKELIHOOD OF HAVING PEARLY WHITE TEETH, ONLY FOR 9.99$!
BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE!
IF YOU CALL NOW, WE’LL GIVE YOU A FREE SLUDGE SODA TOOTHBRUSH!
IT IS SPECIALLY MADE TO REDUCE TOOTH CONTACT, SO IF YOU USE REGULAR TOOTHPASTE, OR SLUDGE SODA TOOTHPASTE, EITHER WAY YOU’LL HAVE ROTTEN TEETH!
Just pay shipping and handling.
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