The Fear I Fight (Family)
My life is a jumble of thoughts, confusion, fear, and fact. Very little love is involved, except for one person who makes me feel like I’m the only person in the world and that I’m worth more than diamonds…but even fear in involved there (more on that in another post). My family is a mess…I live in a situation where emotional abuse is constant, and physical is occasional. My ideas, hopes, goals, dreams, etc. are all put down and sometimes made fun of. Even what I wear isn’t good enough. I’ve spent my entire life trying to be everything they’ve ever wanted me to be, but it’s never been enough. I’m at a loss of what else to do. I need to leave. I need closure somewhere, but I have nowhere to find it. I just want to be gone, but I have this strange feeling of responsibility to them, even though nothing good ever happens for me through them. I’m scared. I’m scared of what to do, where to go, and who to be. I need peace, safety, comfort, love. Show me where to find it. Show me how to be happy.