Quite an affecting little piece, with some good scene-setting in the first paragraph. Your tenses are oscillating from past to present though – easily fixed once you notice it.
Quite an affecting little piece, with some good scene-setting in the first paragraph.
Your tenses are oscillating from past to present though – easily fixed once you notice it.
This piece somehow resonated with me in a deep place. Affecting is a good description.
JonB 
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