A pondering

I’ve often wondered what drives us, no that’s not it, what compels us to hang onto certain emotions. Especially those that are the most destructive. Do we innately desire to torture ourselves or rather is it a way of punishing ourselves, because of guilt or embarrassment or just plain regret? Now, I can see holding onto the happy emotions such as love, joy, peace, hope. But why do we continue to punish ourselves with anger, unforgiveness, disgust, animosity, and regret and then lash out at others as though those emotions will somehow destroy them? Sure, they hurt their feelings, maybe. The fact being, they only damage us. The Bible says to love your brother as yourself. I think the problem is we do not know how to love ourselves, not truly and honestly.
So we will continue to take our hurt and anger and disappointment in ourselves and projecte it toward others. Until we learn to forgive and love ourselves first, we will continue to drink the poison in hopes others will die. But that’s just my two cents.

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