Nicely done! I love the rhyme, rhythm, tale, and the ancient legend kind of feel.

thanks much! I don’t often do full rhyme schemes like this so it was a bit of a risk but I had fun writing it

Good Job! I love the folk tale poem style

Hey!

I have to disagree only in part. The story is wonderful, and expressive, and so bluntly tells of his failure which is fresh!

I just feel like some of the rhymes are a little forced. You shouldn’t alter the structure of a sentence to fit the rhyme scheme.

I love it,
but maybe it never needed to rhyme. After all, you have such a beautiful vocabulary…

ah, thanks. this is my first time doing a fully rhymed poem, so I wanted to see how it would be. thanks for the feedback!