Procrastination
This is yet another distraction. A sideways thought trailing off from my intended destination.
It is past midnight. I won’t leave until this is done. The work is due in by the end of this week, I’ve known this since January but if I had done it then I wouldnt have the pleasant feeling of panic that has settled somewhere between my throat and my stomach. The best feeling to work with.
I bring up tabs on my browser without thinking about it, fingers tapping to forums, comics, flash games. Anything to stop me facing the other parts of the screen. I have been here since 4 pm. I have written a dozen words or so. I am proud of those words. They are good words. Well Ordered. Hopefully when I read them again in the morning they will still make sense.
It doesn’t matter how many times I tell myself this is urgent I cannot face the other word document. I cant read my literature, cant use the software. I am frozen into failure. Paralysed panic pushing potential from my pores. I am sweating away future achievements.