So I’ve been sitting on the computer for six hours now, streaming Full Metal Jousting and crying into a bowl of Malibu with cranberry juice. I’ve started six poems and fifteen short stories without finishing them. I’ve looked at the computer I want to buy when my student finance comes through and tried to work out how important RAM is when running hi-res games. I’ve watched a whole series of men on horses hitting each other with sticks.
I remember when this used to make me happy.
But now, I can barely feel mildly amused. It’s like my emotional receptors are shut off and when the time comes for them to switch on it’s like a floodgate has been opened. My sadness is heartwrenching sobs. My anger is a violent tornado.
And then happiness comes in complete and utter joy. It’s all-encompassing, almost like I never felt numb at all.
And then it ends. And it feels like it happened to someone I don’t know. Like a photograph on Facebook that I ‘liked’ before moving on with my life.