Fat people are hard to kidnap. The operation had always been straightforward, wait until the right moment, approach, open doors, introduce to the van, leave.
Not this time.
The minister of Economy will attend the reception in Cuernavaca. We considered carjacking, but we don’t have that kind of firepower so we opted to get him in the bathroom. We drilled the scene with Gordito as a stand-in and three new faces from The Other Band but Gordito is twice as tall and half as wide as the Minister.
We did n0t sleep all night until we got it in under a minute, that’s when the bodyguards would notice his absence.
Filled with caffeine we got the minister in the bathroom as planned, but we didn’t expect that towering mountain of flesh clad in a sweaty tuxedo.
No one moved a finger and that was great because we wouldn’t have been able to pull it, not even if we were bloody supermen.
Defeated we went for drinks with our new collaborators. The next day they took all our money and they left in a Cadillac.