Stupid atheists. They don’t know nothing.
They think that their shiny-looking gadgets and all their “science” crap’s an excuse for them to go around and proclaim that the real truth is that there is none!
Meh! Lies!

At least, I lived my life like God wanted me to. I went to Church, gave to the poor, and mashed all the filthy atheists I could find into pulp! Yep, I lived my life good until the very end.

I can’t wait to meet God. I’m so excited. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’ll miss my family a lot, but, it’s only a little more time before us being together again, right?

Oh, look. It’s time to say goodbye. I can see the angel that’s gonna escort me to the Big Ol’ Home up there. I can’t wait to see God face to face.

Wait a minute. Is that Richard Feynman?
Oh. Dammit.