Pauly dreamt that someday he would eat a mailman. Mailmen were scarce in those parts, but he spent weeks practicing the subtle art of mailman consumption, so that if opportunity ever knocked – he could answer the door. He practiced spotting knee-high black socks from a distance, and sharpened his teeth with a letter opener. At night, he would smile at the fact that the mailman’s creed: “Neither snow, nor rain…” made no mention of Paulies.

The carrier sent his way was named Blue. Blue was a master of the ancient martial art known as Chop-Socky. During his years of service, 73 dogs, 5 large cats and 1 pet boa constictor died mysteriously along his route, and he was known to carry a few old Sears & Roebucks in his bag, just to show off.

In no time, Pauly and Blue were face to face in the Town Square. Townies placed bets on the outcome. Pauly produced his letter opener as if by magic. Blue swung his bag like a war hammer. This was the moment that each had been waiting for.

Neither really had a chance.