Dear God,

Can you please do something about that planet earth next door to us? They are so freaking loud ALL THE TIME. We haven’t been able to get any sleep. It’s just plain rude! They’re old enough to know better, they’ve been around for billions of years now.

Just please, pleeeeease, do something.
If you don’t, we will. We do need a target to test our new meteor launcher on…

Amen,
The Martians