Declan Talks Death

Declan warily pulled himself up to the chair opposite the woman. It sank on one leg when he sat down.

“Hi, Declan,” the woman said. “I’m Death.”


She smiled supportively, as if used to getting this reaction. “Declan, you were in a car crash, right? And you just sank into a coma.”


“So—and I’ll just be straightforward—do you want to die now?”

Declan frowned. “I get a choice?”

“Well, yes. You do. Right now I’m talking to a guy in Grotto 356 and he’s going straight to Hell. But you’ve been pretty neutral overall, so you get a choice if you want to see me now or later. Rare case, but it happens.” She popped a cigarette into her mouth and puffed.

Declan stuttered. “Er, I—if I die now, will I go to purgatory?”

“Something like that. Or you could go back to the living and tell the doctors about your Near Death Experience. Talk about the tunnel, or the light, or me if you want.”

“I’ll…I’ll take the second one.”

Death made a note in its catalog. “Have a nice trip.”

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