That would be a pile of gold coins minus five bucks if I didn’t do something. All coins have their own special character, tiny variations in the metal that give them a personality, and you can’t let people just take them away from you. I know I’m out of touch with what’s considered politically correct these days, but I assume that most people, if they lost a bet with a friend, would eat the friend. What else can you do? Lose the money?

On the other hand, if I waited until my wife was a little more pregnant, I could eat the wife and get another meal at the same time. Was that legal? I made a mental note to look it up online, but forgot after I bit my tongue and had to race back to the hospital to get it stitched up.

Later that night, when we were finally free of responsibilities to the world outside the bedroom, I asked her advice. “Sweetheart, what would you do if you lost a five dollar bet with a friend?”

Well. As if finding out I’m a dragon wasn’t enough of a shock, now I discover my wife’s insane.