see, now I’m torn.
Do I go backwards or forwards?

or both??

as I said on School Bus, this one lacks the srtength of the other.
(btw, did you read my entry into second date?)

I may have to go backwards. I’m not sure I should continue forwards since I wrote the last bit there.
oh decisions!

yes, read it, and didn’t leave the comment I meant to! I might rework this.

if I can suggest…I’d have her prettying up more, or getting ready more intently (psychologically, or what have you), being critical, worrying, you know…the kind of thing you do before going to the coffee shop where you know THEY will be

I was going to have her adjusting her boobs and doing a few other things but then I wasn’t sure if that would be over the top. Work is already out of control and I’m just sitting on my couch, but I’m hoping to have time to shut the door and take a little break to rework this. Keep the feedback a’comin’!! THANKS!

I’ll be waiting :)
Btw, it really is all about the emotion (not that there’s anything wrong with boobs).
I think you want to keep in mind the first line or two from School Bus. About ‘trying on’ and such. That really set nicole in my mind

and please tell me to hush with the ‘advice’ anytime you want ;)

You’re probably right… too bad work is INSANE today… hopefully once I get out of here (or if it quiets down).

I can’t wait to see
then I’ll decide which way to go
But I can hardly wait to see what you reveal

totally revamped it… still not sure if I’ve got it right!

Oh that is MUCH better! I think you did a great rewrite, much more in tune with the Nicole I’ve been picturing

:) Can’t wait to see what you do with it next. I have to tell you, I freaking LOVE the sequel you wrote. Thanks for the additional pencil, too!

Jeez, now I have to figure out where to take this. Hopefully my sleep deprived brain will freeassociate all night until i get something. I’m tempted to just work backwards, I really like the hair pulling scene as an ender, but it is also so enticing to think about where that might lead

ok, I’m not smart enough to wait and so I posted something.

I’m tempted to write a prequel to this… I don’t know why.

because it brings you furthre back, closer to the start and starts can be very exciting