What an interesting direction. It hadn’t even occurred to me to think about the stories that could branch off of these cities.

The line “his words were sharper than any knife” really captures the dual dangers of unwise relationships in Coir.

One suggestion: The second mention of “night” in the third paragraph is a bit redundant. Her floating away in darkness is enough to remind readers of the time.

Thanks Jesteram, I’ll look at rewriting the line in question.

I wrote this one because it just cried out in “Life Lines” to be written. Hopefully, this story will lead off in a different direction than the main one.

I like as a continuation of the allegory and a bit of good old human nature, especially the concession line about, “…not to the levels he accused me of.” I thought that was very telling. Also really awesome to see how many different people have jumped onto this pseudo-story/collection of allegories/metaphors.

The quest begins…

I’m tempted to write a sequel to this as well as the other! Brilliant. But quite what would happen I don’t know.

Please do so Spiderj, who knows which way this story would go!

Perhaps she drifts to a city already visited? Also I have loved every story about these cities.