Final Breaking News.

We go now back to the riots, where we have news that the rioters are dispersing:

Yes, the rioters are fleeing in terror as the city’s latest Superhero has shown up. Butt-Sex Man.

Most of the men and all of the women have fled, leaving only five malicious jaywalkers in the street which Butt-Sex Man is quickly taking care of… Oh my God, I can’t watch… Oh the humanity…

I am getting word from our producers that we will no longer be able to show you scenes from the riot.

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