“Any messages?”
“8,025,298, but a lot of them are spam. ‘Hallelujah,’ ‘Ohgodohgodohgod,’ ‘Goddamnit,’ and so on.”
“Right, filter those out and put the legit ones in the Mysterious Ways file. Anything else?”
“Some American congressmen are invoking you.”
“Oookay.”
“And the Board wants to see you.”
“We have a Board?”
“Of course, the hopes and fears of all humanity? They want to see your strategy for getting through the recession. The shareholders are quite keen on some accountability.”
“Shareholders?”
“Well, yes. Everyone. In fact they’re hoping you’ll come meet some of them personally. Press the flesh.”
“I can’t do that! I’m not real!”
“Ooh, I don’t think you want to tell them that. You need to restore shareholder confidence. People expect transparency these days.”
“I am transparent, I’m not corporeal!”
“People today are quite educated and open-minded. I’m sure they can accommodate. Oh, could you sign off on this list of disasters? There’s an earthquake due in California in ten minutes.”
“Any coffee left?”