This is pretty wonderful. Even after knowing the name of the victim I still didn’t put two and two together until later. Maybe I’m slow, or maybe you are a good writer.

I liked it a lot, and a very good idea.

oh, i was clueless until the white gloves and face paint part, i admit. I’m not up on my mimes.. haha, going to make one talk. What a crazy guy!

Too funny!!!

Really cute. In fact, the only reason you didn’t get the ribbon was that two other weightier pieces snagged my attention. This wackiness appeals to the John Cleese in me. (“Une, deux, trois!”) But I have just a few notes:

“his mouth and ‘O’ of horror” → “his mouth an ‘O’ of horror”.

The red hair gets mentioned twice in a hurry. It might work better to use the second to describe the maniac better – perhaps “wild red hair” rather than long. shrug

The maniac might work a bit better as almost racist against mimes. The “…to know what you are!” might work to this end better as “…to know your kind, boy!” Red hair = red neck. :)

The duplication of ‘talk’ at the end jars a bit. I might (in the redneck idiom) use “I’ve always wanted to make one of you squeal.” (And yet I’ve never seen Deliverance.)

Fluffy prize awarded! :D

Thanks for the comments, Text. I fixed ‘an ’O’ of horror’. The repetition of talk bugs me, too, but nothing else works. I supposed I could change the first one to ‘speak’. hmmmm

:) You know, I wasn’t even thinking red neck at all; I was imagining a friend of mine doing this scene. It’s totally the sort of over-the-top improv type thing that he’d do – and he really does have long red hair and pick his tooth with his switchblade. :)

Thanks for the fluff! Very snugly.