Mm. Dark.

Dark indeed, but a very vivid image..
Really well described man!

I agree with the other two

Very dark and well described. I especially liked the chopstick. And the narcissistic pool of emptiness.

poor toddler… i agree with ELD and ALRO..
things were looking so good, then bam! karma

so he doesn’t plunge to his death, which would have been anticlimactic, had not he tripped over a child and hurt her. which is a decent twist and provides the stimulus for his new life of crime.. supposedly..

I have to confess, I don’t really get a lot of this. There is a lot of cultural references that I just dont get sometimes. I know of the BeeGees as a musical group in the late 70’s early 80’s, but don’t know their repertoire well enough to get the NYT reference.

I understand the first part as expecting a crowd to welcome him back into the spotlight, and his disappointment at not finding them on his door as they used to.

I understand the second part as referencing running. but the simile between his heart and a looking glass reflecting fake smiles doesnt work for me. That’s my fault in not getting the reference. I really did like the Les Miseralbles reference though. Tripped on a kid, got it. Snap, probably a broken bone or something. Can’t hear the mothers screams, ok. Again I just dont get the BeeGees and NYT reference. And the last line refers to his desire for his death to end things.

Sorry if I seem stupid, but I guess I need this explained to me a little more.

Horrible and tragic turn, but is a nice morality tale for the perils of self-obsession.

in the BeeGee’s song stayin alive
which is funny in itself that he is about to commit suicide because there is no “Stayin alive” theme music, there is a line, "the New York Times don’t make a man.
I hope that helped, duck sometimes my husband….well you know him.

how did you get featured? slow day? :P

how did you get featured? slow day? :P
i see you changed the title, much better.

Didn’t they write Saturday Night Fever?

the song or the movie?

Good job, MJY. I love the flow. And I agree with THX. The perils of self-obsession.

This was awesome! The second stanza in particular was heart-breaking. I loved these lines:

His legs pumped toxic waste into his fickle sick heart. The heart that could only be important as a looking glass reflecting the fake smiles of adoring fans.

Amazing!

What’s really sick about this is you had to bring Jean Val Jean into it, that was just janky, but the rest of it is pure twisted awesomeness, one beelion pernsills

Ana Cristina got it right – some of those lines are just fantastic.

It’s really good and has a rhythm all its own and New York Times becomes a really creepy recurring phrase, which isn’t something I thought would ever happen.

On a slight side notes, have you seen this movie:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1223975/

It was, in a good way, the first thing I thought of.

thanks spider

ew i hate self conceited people
that line about the chinese toddler made me laugh lol